Travel Hacks and Q&A

Read time: 4 minutes (+2 minute if you read the Travel Hacks guide)

After making it back to Austin and knocking on several peices of wood, I can safely say that I never got robbed or sick. This is my greatest accomplishment from 10 weeks abroad. I'm not sure if anything other than luck played into that. I did maintain a list of tips that we've turned into a downloadable guide (thank you Tariq, for making this visually digestable). 

You can view and download the PDF it here

A couple of friends sent me a list of questions and I thought I'd share some of the answers. When people have asked similar questions in real life so far, I didn't know where to begin. I'm so scatterbrained. So to all the friends so far who got jumbled nonsense from me the past week, here you go!

What’s your new favorite dish? 

Kaya Toast from Malaysia/Singapore. It’s a jam made out of coconut, sugar, eggs, and pandan between two slices of toast. You then crack two barely boiled eggs into a bowl and add soy sauce, salt, and pepper to taste. It’s basically deconstructed french toast because you dip the kaya toast into the egg and enjoy with strong coffee. I had never heard of it until I visited. I recreated it for my parents this past weekend and they loved it. 

Did you ever have to poop in a hole?

No and thank god! I actually only saw that toilet once and it was in the old “preserved” part of Singapore in Little India. Okay, but in the deepest part of my heart, I’m aware that this is the “best” way to take care of business.

How was your marriage tested/changed since?

We’re very close now. It’s a type of close that is almost too close and can only be achieved by constant togetherness. We have quirks and inside jokes. There were plenty of frustrating moments that came with insomnia, trying to find a place, and being out of your comfort zone for weeks. I know how to cure myself/Tariq now though. Tariq knows that if I even whisper that I want to eat a certain thing, we better make sure and find it that day - even if it’s as obscure as enchiladas in Thailand. Tariq’s food cure is usually an apple tart/pie/crumble type of thing. Now, we can change each other's mood back to something tolerable within 30 minutes because anything longer is unbearable.  

What did you miss the most? (points docked if you say family)

This is specific but I missed good conversation and food with friends. I could combat this by getting meals with new friends but it’s still didn’t keep me from missing the people in my life.

Most awe-inspiring moment?

Angkor Wat was a metaphysical experience for me. My chest tightened as soon as the sun hit the main gallery. I felt a really strong connection to that ancient civilization and was overcome with admiration at the detail and magnitude of the temple(s). This was also I place I knew NOTHING about before the trip. It was added to our last mid-trip. What happened to the Khmer people, the history behind its structure, the buddhist and hindu rulers, and it’s incomprehensible detail inspired me. It inspired me to seriously consider the impact we’re having on this planet. It also gave me a lot of anxiety … because of this core theme of “omg we’re running out of resources”, I barely want to have kids now. What kind of life are we promising them?

How much did you spend from country to country (not counting travel). Which country was the most expensive to spend time in?

Singapore is the most expensive country to both eat and stay in. Japan and Hong Kong come second. Overall, I didn’t change my eating habits regardless of which country I was in - I’m not fully a backpacker because I won’t rough it out too much. The budget ranged from $20-60/day for meals and accommodation depending on the country. The cheapest country was Cambodia. You’d get a delicious lok lak (beef curry with rice and an egg on top) and a latte for $3.

What’s your favorite picture?

Hard to narrow down but the “business babes” from Chiang Mai stole my heart. They were so precious with their temple outfits and their existence epitomized Thailand's hustle culture. I also love that picture because it was beautiful without any edits. It was a picturesque balance of color and culture. Those little girls know exactly what they’re doing.

My favorite thing to do on this trip was to offer to take pictures for strangers. Everyone struggles with selfies or group shots. I went out of my way and hurdle through language barriers to ask if they want me to take it for them. People always said yes. We're all trying to enjoy the experience and take in the same scenary. I love the sense of collectivism that came from it. 

If you could do the whole trip over again what would you do differently?

I would add time in Vietnam; 8 days was not enough. I also wanted to visit Myanmar, and everyone we met was visiting themselves, but I made a choice to avoid that country. There is currently ethnic cleansing against their Muslim minority, the Rohingiya people. There was also a moment when we seriously considered Mount Everest Basecamp in Nepal but decided that trip is best done on it’s own.

What made you sad?

How doomed we are. I’m not a pessimist but this trip made it hard to ignore the irreversible damage we’ve inflicted on this planet. The severity of climate change is making me question how many children I want to bring onto Earth.

  • America is the only developed country I know where there are citizens who deny climate change. Even the underdeveloped countries we visited had signs and take SOME measures to combat our environmental footprint.

  • We talk about fuel efficiency and electric cars but we aren’t considering everything else in manufacturing that requires oil. Once we run out, we won’t be able to produce and harvest enough food to feed the world.

  • This trip gave me a lot of time to think about sexy topics like marine pollution, deforestation, air quality, and biodiversity.

Did you eat bugs?

Refer to chart below.

Did your taste in music change?

Everyone, everywhere is listening to the same music. Good music is a global unifier. It surprised me but there were several times I’d be sitting in a cafe and hear a song that I thought only I knew. I will say, everyone in Asia super digs song covers. They also listen to the EDM version of any song - sad or happy.

This wraps up the Asia series. Thanks for reading! You can view all the photos here.

2004 Was the Greatest Year for Music of All Time

You can try to argue with me on this one but 2004 was THE GREATEST year for all kinds of music. Just think about how old you were and where you were then before you check the list. I was in 8th grade and I would rush home after school everyday to catch MTV's Total Request Live because each day seemed that sensational. So, after 2 hours of scouring through Wikipedia to check song release dates and prancing around in nostaligia, my friend and I finished compiling this list. Most of these artists had multiple chart-toppers but I tried to avoid repeating them. Each of these are exclusively great, hilarious, and equally a classic. I'm not vouching for all of these artists but they definitely made a societal impact with these songs:

  1. Yeah! –Usher ft. Lil Jon and Ludacris
  2. She Likes to Move – NERD
  3. All Falls Down – Kanye West
  4. The Reason –Hoobastank
  5. Hey Ya! – Outkast
  6. Lean Back –Terror Squad
  7. Float On –Modest Mouse
  8. Tipsy – J-Kwon
  9. Goodies – Ciara
  10. Work It – Missy Elliot
  11. American Idiot –Green Day
  12. Freek-a-Leek –Petey Pablo ft. Lil Jon
  13. My Immortal –Evanescence
  14. Dirt Off Your Shoulder –Jay Z
  15. Take Me Out – Franz Ferdinand
  16. Overnight Celebrity –Twista
  17. Since U Been Gone –Kelly Clarkson
  18. Hotel –Cassidy feat. R Kelly
  19. Numb –Linkin Park
  20. She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5
  21. Karma – Alicia Keys
  22. Pieces – Sum 41
  23. Get Low – Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz ft. Ying Yang Twins
  24. Drop It Like Its Hot – Snoop Dogg ft. Pharrell
  25. Are You Gonna Be My Girl – Jet
  26. Where is the Love? – Black Eyed Peas
  27. Just Lose It – Eminem
  28. Breathe Me – Sia
  29. Leave (Get Out) – JoJo
  30. Toxic – Britney Spears
  31. Come Clean – Hilary Duff
  32. Milkshake –Kelis
  33. White Flag – Dido
  34. On Fire – Lloyed Banks
  35. Miss You – Blink 182
  36. Holidae Inn – Chingy ft. Ludacris & Snoop Dogg
  37. Rumors – Lindsay Lohan
  38. I Believe in a Thing Called Love – The Darkness
  39. Culo – Pitbull Ft. Sean Paul
  40. Smile – Lilly Allen
  41. Gasolina – Daddy Yankee
  42. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
  43. Wait (Whisper Song) – Ying Yang Twins
  44. Vertigo – U2
  45. I Don’t Want You Back – Eamon
  46. Slow Motion –Juvenile
  47. Somewhere Only We Know –Keane
  48. My Happy Ending –Avril Lavigne
  49. Ch-Check It Out –Beastie Boys

No, I wont shut up. That all happened in 2004.

 

Why I Don't Need Millions of Dolla Dolla Bills, Ya'll

I have become increasingly un-materialistic. I’m hoping I snap out of it because school can be very difficult to go through when you’re not motivated by monetary gain. But if you pointed a paintball gun to my face, threatening to colorfully bruise it if I didn’t spend loads of money, I would the following:

1. I will pay the Kardashians to become irrelevant. If the Mayans are correct, then the world does not need to end while Kim Kardashian is live airing the finalization of her divorce.

2. I eat and cook a lot so perhaps I’d furnish a spectacular kitchen. I would order a heaping carton of caviar to swoosh around in my mouth while I watch movies on my wall sized 3D television. Afterwards, I can walk across my aquarium floor to my beachy backyard because my house is actually on a private island.

3. The hip-hop community dictates that I should make it rain at all times. You have not lived your life until you’ve paid for your gas with flying 10's while gyrating to T-Pain.

4. I could probably get the writers of LOST to redo their cheap, upsetting Finale. Seriously, they were in purgatory the entire time? AS IF that ending was not predicted after episode 2 in the Loser Lost Fans Club forum. Yeah, I checked!

5. With a million dollars, I would copyright overused phrases and place a premium on their usage.

  • Fail $1
  • SMH $The Weight of Your Head In Dollars
  • Cray $1 for me and $1 for Kanye
  • It Is What It is $1 is $1
  • Just Sayin’ Shouldn’t have said anything, $1 please.
  • Totes $0, my mother told me to never cheat the handicapped.

6. I will run for Presidency. I’m a little pretentious when it comes to valuing non-coastal states so touring across America would be good for me. How do the people of South Dakota feel when no one outside the US (or even inside) knows where they’re from? I can’t even picture people living in Wyoming and Indiana/Illinois are only important in Monopoly. Again, I refuse to do any research on this matter.

7. I will make Google become more considerate of the worlds’ 1%. I searched:

  • “How to spend more money” Nothing.
  • “How to spend money like a boss” Nothing.
  • “How to spend money without f-ing bitches” Nothing.

Thanks to the tags in this post, all those people searching will now find some meaningful answers.

 

 

Revolutionary Marketing 2011

There are very few people or establishments without a social media presence now. Facebook has become our virtual passport, allowing us to “like” everywhere we go online. In less than 3 clicks on my phone, I can immediately spread an article I like from twitter to 15-20 immediate viewers. But this isn’t about how amazing social media, its about how clever marketers found a way to re-revolutionize the impact of it all. Marketing breakthroughs have been so frequent the past year that the excitement of it all is usually fleeting. Despite the current lack of shock value of social media, these recent marketing techniques have left me baffled.

1. Justin Bieber “Never Say Never” 3D (Theaters/3D Appeal)

I hate Justin Bieber fantatics. Some lady hates those fanatics too and decided the best way to contain her rage is by stealing their money. In an elaborate, money making scheme, she put together a montage of 3 home videos, 2-3 viral youtube videos, footage of concerts, a couple of 3 sentence interviews, and a collection of the freaks themselves screaming on camera. The collection of clips were put in chronological order, made “3D” and then advertised it as an “Experience to his world in 3D”. What most would consider a documentary, suddenly became an “experience” worth $11-18 in a theater near you.

The only difference between “Never Say Never” and MTV Behind the Scene is a slight 3D effect. It was brilliant. Give loyal fans what they want and they’ll pay for it—a simple act with profound effects.

Never Say Never to teenage freaks.

2. Rebecca Black (Youtube)

The Bieber movement consequently inspired two parents to invest in their bathroom voice prodigy daughter, Rebecca. After $2000+ spent on hiring a professional recording group, youtube recognition, and I’m guessing a whopping $1.59 to some lyricist, Rebecca Black launched a video that received more notoriety than anything else I’ve lived to see.

I will confess, I never made it past the first 30 seconds of the video but I have endured countless renditions and parodies of the music video. The brilliance of the song “Friday” is not the actual video but how Ark Music Factory (the recording agency) specifically caters to wealthy parents with untalented children. I say this because Rebecca Black is not the first of her kind; there are others just as worse. Ark Music Factory provides false hope, a camera, and auto-tune in exchange for a couple grand to aspiring pop stars.

Sign me up.

Ruin your Fridays forever

3. Smart Water (Youtube)

It must have been frustrating for marketing agencies to see effortless youtube videos gain the attention of millions and media notoriety while their own strategies were reduced to standard commercializing. However, a concession was made when Jennifer Aniston pastiched a medley of previously viral youtube videos for a Smart Water campaign.  With over 8 million hits, the self-proclaimed “viral” video did justice to its name.

The whole concept behind bottled water is already scheming, but after gathering direct attention with immediate responses and millions of viewers for FREE, it is now innovative. No, Smart.

Jennifer Anistons Sex Tape

4. Charlie Sheen (Radio/Television/Twitter)

I know, this guy is overexposed but I really love it when celebrities capitalize on their mishaps and tragedies. Why wouldn’t you? Postmodernism has taught celebrities one valuable lesson: either you hide and lose the limelight forever OR you accept your faults, gain attention from all media outlets and then you secure your fame by capitalizing on it.

After being exposed for abusing his wife, using an undisclosed amount of drugs, having porn stars as best friends, Charlie Sheen went on a series of rampant interviews at radio stations and talk shows. His attempts at self-defense were minimal and outweighed by hilarious remarks—manifesting irreversible insanity.  For a solid 2 days, Charlie Sheen ruled all forms of media. Sheen soon became an active tweeter, helping him unofficially coin terms like #tigerblood and #turd. With all this, Sheen saw fit to launch a series of “shows” around the US. This is a marketing #win.

Tiger Woods, talk to Sheen, you were never as bad as him.

twitter.com/CHARLIESHEEN

Think Inside the Box

Don’t let it piss you off when you realize how easy it actually is to be happy in life. Around this time last year, I made one simple decision: make no resolutions. When you’re losing your mind, stressed about anything or everything, ask yourself: “Does it really even have to be this way?”

Most of us already have everything we need to lead a happy, stress free life. Before modern society, stress was good—necessary for basic survival instincts. Now, life has just become a list of demands and goals. Every time I sacrifice living life to study I ask, “Is this worth it?” I want to know the exact date in ancient history where civilization decided that life was about wanting more. To clarify, I love innovation. I would be saddened by any disruption to progress. However, happiness should not be the price we pay for change. We complicate life on our own. I also admire ambition but again, you have to consider its actual cost. If you spend a quarter of your life searching for your dream, the next half of your life achieving it, what was the point in the end?

Thinking and living inside the box is so underrated. Not once this past year did I feel “unhappy”. I accepted life. You don’t have to continuously feel grateful for your life to be happy either. Just know that achieving your ambitions is outside the box—not a matter to stress over. Unburden yourself to be happy.

1. Redefine “goals”

This year has been so cathartic because I finally stopped making rules. How “outside of the box” is it to know exactly where you’re headed all the time? If you don’t let your goals limit you, then you’ll probably end up achieving something everyday. Just do things that you’ll be happy about—it’s that simple.

Loopy?

2. Don’t bother having a personal “To-Do” list past #3 (or have a list at all).

Try to think of the last time you finished the first 3 things on your list and made it onto #4...Must have been a great day but no one can do that everyday. I used to create my own stress and disappointment by starting my day off with false expectations. As the days of feeling useless-ness piled up, the more daunting this list became. Everyday began with guilt from the previous days’ of un-accomplishment. I just got rid of it one day; I started living that day.

3. Stop Being Busy

This takes a lot of mental deconstruction. Do what’s truly important. Do less. Before you worry over what was pushed aside in the process, realize that it probably had no affect on anything. Think before you make commitments.Stop being busy and be still. The less you move the easier it will be to direct yourself to what’s necessary.

Very little in life demands risk so why isn’t everyone happy? Begin to accept that happiness doesn’t have to be an abstract concept or goal. Its difficult and ironically against our nature to live inside the box.

I have enjoyed every minute of the last 365 days. Forget making resolutions this year; just start living.

November 1st: Judgment Day. The Day After Halloween

Like many American twists on old traditions, Halloween is truly….unique? I will probably allow the word “unique” to mean several different things in this post just to avoid the use of other less favorable terms to describe a few “Halloween Costumes”. October 31st is a “Get Out Of Jail Free Card” for our alter egos. It’s glorious. I love Victoria’s Secret mail: great deals, free stuff, and sexy pictures to accompany it. And then I saw this.

OH, so its not even a secret anymore? Up until this point I thought this kind of display of.. uniqueness during Halloween was supposed to be subtle? You know, “I just think sailors are cute. Wouldn’t it be fun? CUTE right?” …Mhm girl, you’re so right. Well, if its from Victorias Secret, your desire to show off your gym commitment outweighs your need for cuteness. At this point, you’re just trying to be unique. People become aware of our secret fetishes, childhood fantasies, and devilish side being displayed through our costumes. So on November 1, we reflect.

1. The Creative Geek

On October 31st, you’re the cool guy. These costumes tend to be larger, makeshift versions of technological devices, nerdy puzzles, a representation of an idea, or the most elaborate Sci-Fi costume you have ever seen. And sometimes, you just have to stop and ask because the spectacle is just beyond the understanding the mere mortals.

2. The Super Heroes

Why Wonder Woman? She was an equal to the male super heroes, could fly, had amazing hair, a “Lasso of Truth”, and was virtually indestructible. The super hero you choose can reflect your admirations and aspirations. Superheroes allow you to display little to an infinite amount of creativity.

3. The Public Goods and Services

I guess we enjoy the irony in it all because these costumes are always very unique. Cops, Firemen, Politicians, House Maids, Physicians, and Military Personnel...none are left behind. As a law-abiding citizen, I definitely understand this kind of appeal.

4. The I’m-Just-Here-For-The-Candy/“Candy”

After a certain point, it feels silly to dress up—I get it. But if you’re mooching for candy or partying in the name of Halloween, you should make some sort of attempt at a costume. Yeah, there’s always something to make fun of but at least everyone’s having fun with it. Showing up normal is a tad abnormal on October 31st.

5. The Why-So-Serious-Nightmare-On-Your-Street

Halloween is no joke for these people. These displays are sometimes so vivid, so gruesome that I really do have commend these freakshows. Leave it to all the clowns gone wrong, zombies, and horror film heroes to remind us what Halloween was originally all about.

6. The Let-Me-Ruin-Childrens’-Stories-For-You

Every time we uniq-ify another Disney Princess or witness Big Birds true potential, I imagine a sad life without fairy godmothers. Its pitiful and I love it. There is truth in this kind of corruption. This is the kind of magic grownups practice.

7. The Doppleganger

It usually sucks to hear that you look like a “less hot version” (ha) of a celebrity all the time but on October 31st , you market it. Sometimes it just helps to be the same race. Every year I think to be Lady Gaga and then I realize: I’m just not white enough (or ballsy enough).

8. The Group Effort

Always a success until you wander off on your own and look like you decided to just mismatch (Hey so, you’re the 90’s?). Mean Girls, DNA Sequence, a boy band, Adams Family, etc.

9. The Day Time Mafia Leader/Night Time Club Owner

This is the cop out for guys.

“Don’t feel like buying a costume but I look good in a suit?”

“My girlfriend bought me this hideous satin dress shirt”

“Jersey Shore, duh”

10. The Normally I’m Disgusting But Today I’m Extra Disgusting

When tacky is an understatement and there are sadly no consequences.

Halloween is not always a judgment of your character but it is a fun way to display a different side or build on yourself. Sometimes it helps you realize a person’s level of wit, childhood hero, or their unique alter ego that’s not so secret anymore.

Happy Halloween, Buffoons.

What Stops Being Cool After Turning 20 (if not sooner!)

1. Disregarding the Importance of Politics How many “F*** politics” have you seen under people’s Information on social network sites? The count is disheartening. Some feel that discussing politics is tacky or don’t want to reveal their personal affiliations- that’s great, not a terrible attribute at all. Those who just don’t care or are under the false impression that Politics doesn’t affect them need a drastic eye opener.

I guess as Americans we have grown comfortable to our daily lives and easily lose sight of the effects of politics. I don’t want to turn this into a lecture so to cut it short: if you want to succeed and prosper in life, you need to stay informed.

2. Not Paying For Any Music

Not many have thought to buy a CD since 2001 with the introduction of iPods and mp3 players popularizing. Since piracy is a general issue that has yet to be resolved, it is your personal duty as an adult to support the artists you love. A really dumb argument to make is that “they’re already wealthy enough”-its not even the money; it’s the principal of it all.

3. Hating to Read

Pretend you have time for it. How do you get through college by hating to read? There are books out there for all interests and thinkers. Saying you hate to read is like not having any thoughts. Reading is knowledge and knowledge is progress and a lack of progress is a meaningless life. I guess a loophole to not enjoying reading is being an audio/visual learner. Regardless, unless you’re sitting in on lectures or watching really amazing documentaries or movies, you are just missing out!

4. Neglecting the Use of Proper, Basic Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling

Dis iz a pet peeve 4 most ppl & if ur still talking lyke dis nd mixing up ur there theyre theirs thAn rest assured ur bein reevaluated. (My Mac book had a red squiggly seizure with that sentence.)

Note to the 5% of idiots in their 20’s: I have had people laugh at my face/admire me because I use “big words” and sound “very intellectual” when I’m speaking to them…. ARE YOU SERIOUS? They are not “SAT words”, they’re just NORMAL words you should casually be using already. Vocabulary does end in 8th grade.

5. Leading a Passion-less Life

Everything with substance, greatness, and inspiration came from a step taken with passion. No one wants to be with a dead beat. After a year or two into college, the experimenting phase should come to a close so that you can start working towards what you're passionate about. To still be uncertain about your interests and hobbies at this point would be concerning.

6. Assuming You Have Already Grasped All of Life’s Lessons

Wisdom is infinite. People in their twenties ironically tend to be the least humble—I would know! The toughest trials bring me down to size and make me realize that I have just started. You can honestly measure the amount of wisdom within in a person not by their age, but by their humility.

7. Being a Sheep

Your mother gave you a life so live it. As an ex sheep, I know the burden of chasing an image, trying please others, and letting the views of parents and peers infringe upon my own. It really is rewarding to know that who you are is more than a product of what you’ve seen but rather what you’ve learned. Before you blindly proclaim your views on a political topic, choose your major, or decide anything, get the facts. By opening your mind, listening, attempting to see things from different perspectives and diversifying your news sites, you really will find out more about yourself than anything else.

8. Not Keeping Up With Current Events

It really is a tad unnerving to be the last one to hear about a catastrophe or new changes. Keeping updated locally, nationally, and globally will greatly broaden your interests and causes in life. Diversify your sources and subjects because it really does feel pitiful to be left out of a conversation.

Annoying, Cliché Advice

I recently surveyed my friends/family asking what they found to be the most annoying, cliche advice. These were the most common. Cliché: “Forget about the past; what’s done is done."

Advisor: Strong, apathetic, guarded

Although its wise to avoid dwelling on what went wrong, its nothing you can immediately do. Everyone needs a moment to recover- whether its doing poorly on a test or losing your best friend.  Without time for reflection, you can’t possibly learn from the situation itself. Even a stone can be worn down with enough rain.  Everyone reaches a point of unignorable adversity.

Cliché: “Everything happens for a reason.”

Advisor: Introspective, religious, philosophical, etc.

I’m definitely guilty of conveying this message. This is bad advice because it isn’t advice at all.  You can’t use this concept to help you get past your present. The major flaw in this is a double standard. The tiny bit of comfort you may find in  a “reason” for everything is outweighed by the 50% chance that the reason may just be something worse.

Cliché: “Everything will work out in the end”

Advisor: Optimist

Most people are irritated by optimism during a rough patch. Its "hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel" when it feels like there is no end. And honestly, does it always work out? Not really. I guess this cliche provides hope but according to half of my friends, no one wants to hear it.

Cliché: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

Users: Moralist perhaps? Not sure.

No author should neglect to provide an intriguing cover for their book. As readers, we have every right to judge books based on their cover.  Why would you spend months writing and then undermine it with a mediocre wrapping? Parallel a book with how we physically present ourselves. Obviously I don't support being superficial but what’s there not to judge against someone who never maintains hygiene, dresses appropriately or carry themselves suitably?

Cliché: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Advisor: Your wing man/wing woman

Wow, thanks, because I wasn’t aware of the other 6 billion people living on our planet. Knowing there are plenty of fish in the sea is exactly what drives us to look for a shark. And sometimes this one is paired with "you're too picky". I think its good to know what you want and not settle till you find it.

Cliché: “Nice guys finish last.”

Users: The "Boo hoo, woe is me, f my life, and cry me a river" type.

Get a grip. First off, beware of self-proclaimed “nice guys” or “nice girls”. Nice people aren't the way they are for recognition. And second, if you feel you're "always screwed over", notice that you're the only common denominator in every factor. If all nice people really did finish last (whatever that may mean) then they are nice AND stupid. I know plenty of nice people that aren't push overs and get through life just fine.

. . .

When we feel helpless and want to provide more than "a shoulder to lean on", we turn to these trite phrases that everyone could live without. Replacement for cliches? Listen. Sometimes people really just need to talk/vent. Feeding people overused, meaningless cliches just irritate them. It only makes sense to give people advice if you actually have any. And if you’ve been in their exact situation before, tell them what really helped you because just forgetting or waiting it out wasn't it.

Nearly Reasonable Things I Want Invented

Rice Krispy Treats Cereal For a limited time, they sold marshmallow coated Rice Krispies Cereal but it was still crunchy. I want a cereal that’s like soft, gooey Rice Krispies treats in bite size squares. Until then, I unwrap 3 treats, cut the up, put them in a bowl of milk and THEN I can enjoy this—way too tedious to be “American”.

 

 

 

 

iCar

Apparently a friend of mine has also dreamt of this at a young age so I know I’m not alone here but shouldn’t we be able to communicate with cars around us? I want nothing more than to be able to tell the person who cut me off without using their indicator how angry I am…Or maybe I want to thank someone for letting me thru with a quick message. I’m sure creepers would love this too so they could easily holler at people they’re stuck in traffic with. The medium for this kind of communication is up to the inventor/entrepreneur.  I would even be satisfied with an App where you can text pre-formatted messages to license plates numbers. So all license plates should have a linked cell phone number. And as a further stretch, when its 2100, we could have holographic speech bubbles transmitted car to car.

Force Fields

I could have said time travel, accessible space travel, time machine, teleportation, but for my sci-fi invention, I pick force fields. With a single device, I want to be able to have an impenetratable bubble around me, my car, or whatever. With this, you could walk through the forest worry free of bugs. With this, we would no longer need to worry on the road. With this, you could scuba dive with nothing on. With this, you could ascend into space without worry of air/oxygen pressure. With this, you could be Desmond from LOST during a nuclear explosion. With this, you could prevent a fatal incident. With this, you could possibly stop a virus from spreading within. I see many technical and legal difficulties with this idea (aside from it being impossible at this point in time). Maybe all force fields will have time limits depending on strength? Before I really stop making sense, I just think this would be incredible so if you’re a bored genius in physics, get on this.

 

Southwestern Submarines

Instead of trying to compete with American Airlines, Southwestern should seek to regain its credibility and implement marketable alliteration with trans-oceanic travel. Really, I anyone can do this. Some people are reportedly on this but this is indeed, very complicated. Half of the sea life in the gulf is damaged anyway, why not barricade and connect various oceans for sea travel? To enforce safety, the barricades would keep dangerous sea life out as transportation travels quickly through water. This idea has much room for interpretation and adjustments but all I’m saying is that I would take observing fish over clouds any day.

 

Anti-Tanning Lotion

The title says it all. Not like bleach to make you lighter, but a lotion that keeps you from tanning. And no, sunscreen does not already do this! And if this is as complicated as curing cancer, than how about lotion that prevents hair growth forever?

Songs That Deserve To Already Be "2000 & late"

Over- Drake

“We’ve been everywhere and back but I just can’t remember it all. What am I doin’?”

No really, what are you doing, Drake? I’m sure this song has some deeper connotations involving struggle and a profound mid-twenty crisis but it really just makes me laugh.

Bad Romance- Lady Gaga

Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah. Gaga Ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance. I want your ugly. I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it’s free. I want your love”

I’m not surprised. I would call it Nasty Romance, really, with Lady Gaga’s (supposed) unlady parts. But honestly, the video was rah rah ah aw awesome. This song is just obnoxiously catchy.

Rude Boy- Rihanna

“Come here rude boy, boy , can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy, is you big enough?

Not only did she capitalize on her trauma with Chris Breezy with an entire new album, but she stripped his dignity along the way. Don’t get me wrong; I would probably have done the same. Rihanna is about to bring out a new era of "Ra-Ra"ing, over zealous feminists. Brace yourself, world.

But this is still Rated R for Repetitive Relentless-ness

Daddys Home- Usher

“You know your daddy’s home (daddys home), and its time to play (so its time to play)…”

Call me naïve or old fashioned but I really thought this was a sweet song about his non-existent daughter.

THEN he goes “So you aint got to give my loving away. So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy…Poke it on out poke it out right here. I’mma fall back while you work that chair..”

OH. okay. I don’t care what Usher is flexin’ for some sexin’ but I refuse to call anyone “daddy”. While this point is being made, don’t call women shawty. Its one of those words that just sound dumb coming out of a normal persons mouth.

Fireflys- Owl City

To ten million fireflies. I’m weird cause I hate good byes. I got misty eyes as they say farewell.  But ill know where several are. If my dreams get real bizarre ‘cause I saved a few and keep them in a jar”

….a jar also full of rainbows, butterflies, and baby caterpillars? As “planet Earth turns slowly” in this song, little sane parts of me also die.

Obsessed- Mariah Carey

“ooh boy why you so obsessed with me?
 Boy I want to know- lyin’ that you’re sexin me”

I cant picture anyone other than Mariah Carey singing this. If she didn’t have so many rhinestoned butterflies shoved up her giant butt, she’d realize that only the man obsessed with her is an under aged, half sized Nick Cannon.

Watcha Say- Jason DeRulo

"Wha- wha- what did she say. Mmmm whatcha say, Mmm that you only meant well?"

Mmm, what you did was steal Imogean Heaps “Hide and Seek” and make it worse. SNL, however, did a good job of using it for their One Tree Hill parody.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu8dHe07L6w

Party in the USA- Miley Cyrus

"I got my hands up. They're playing my song. I know I'm gonna be okay, Yeah. It's a Party in the USA"

Shame on you, USA, for partying to this song. Hey Miley, Ke$ha called, she doesnt want to share the club light with you and your fake ID.

Down- Jay Sean

“So baby don’t worry, you are my only, You won’t be lonely, even if the sky is falling down, You’ll be my only, no need to worry, Baby are you down down down down down,”

No baby, I’m not down, even if the sky is falling. And since when is it okay to rhyme a word with itself? “Do you remember” when Jay Sean was hot?

Baby- Justin Bieber

Are we an item? Girl quit playin' We're just friends, What are you sayin'?  Said there's another as you look right in my eyes. My first love, broke my heart for the first time. And I was like. Baby, baby, baby ooh”

Yes we know, Justin, you are an infant. That’s why this is so disgusting. Someone explain to me as to why this kid is famous? There are many striving artists out there who deserve to be daily trending topic more than Bieber. Someone find him a baby leash!

Replay- Iyaz

I will be damned if that song were to somehow work its way into my iTunes and get stuck on replay.

“Shawty's like a melody in my head. That I can't keep out 
Got me singin' like 
Na na na na everyday.It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)”

This is just painful on 14 levels. The earsplitting, auto-tuned filled voice aside, the lyrics compare the notorious “shawty” to a melody. I would be so pissed if I were this Shawty. Akon and Kanye’s love child, Iyaz, needs end with this unjustified, one hit wonder.

According to you- Orianthi

In tune: According to meee, this song sucks. Its stupid. Its irritating. And I don’t know why people like ittt.

I hate this song so much that I refuse to quote it (mainly because I’ve never heard anything past the first 15 seconds). This song is an instant station changer.